Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize