My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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