i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
