if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
