yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Found the puke drawer
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
