we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
false alarm, still single
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