I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
