All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
