I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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