Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize