this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
