Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
