Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
