maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
