The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize