You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Randomize
