Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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