mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
BRING THE BAGELS
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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