It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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