So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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