oh god the rape fog is back!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize