that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
