i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
