My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I need help removing her.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
