I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
