So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
