That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
