LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
