my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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