I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
When are your genitals available?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
