Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
