last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
