Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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