i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
