we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize