i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
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