she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize