I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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