was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
