mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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