I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I will pee on everything he values.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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