I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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