yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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