There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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