would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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