I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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