I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
