I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize