She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
