actually, I'm a sock model
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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