If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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