yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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