He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
