I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
