my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
did you just send me my own nude
Is Oprah even human
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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